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Poetry from the "Lyrically Challenged"

My photo album

more challenges await...
Challenge this, "poem-boy!"
My photo album
Rhythms of love and life...
Love is the gentle smile on the lips of beauty...

When you sit on the fence, you get shot at from both sides!

Author Unknown

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left!

J. L. Wade


A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital
when during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was
masturbating furiously.
Oh my GOD!!"  screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why
is he doing that??"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I am
very  sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a
serious condition  where his testicles rapidly fill with semen,  and if
he doesn't do that at  least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain
and his testicles could  easily rupture".
"Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented  the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and  it
was obvious that a nurse was performing oral sex on him.
Again,  the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be
justified?". Again  the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same
illness, better health plan."








Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today,
I weally sick. Got headache, tomach ache and wegs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you
today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me
sex.That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be work soon......... You got weally nice house."


the old poodle

A wealthy lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her
faithful aged poodle along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers
that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in
his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks,
"Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the
leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was
one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees "Whew!", says the
leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the
leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The
monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a
deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on
his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running,
the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
seen them yet,and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle
says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!"

Moral of this story.. Don't mess with old farts. Age and cunning will
always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with
age and experience!



My epitaph shall read:
Here lies Ed,
Overworked and Overfed,
Under-fucked and

My sexual preference is often...

Rhyming reflections of life...raw and real...