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A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital
when during her tour, she passed a room where
a male patient was
masturbating furiously.
Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why
is he doing that??"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I am
very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this
man has a
serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if
he doesn't do that at
least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain
and his testicles could easily rupture".
"Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it
was obvious that a nurse was performing oral sex
on him.
Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be
justified?". Again the doctor spoke very
calmly, "Same
illness, better health plan."
A FUN BREAK
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Mr.
Greenleaf
Happy-Bear,
Hippie-Psychic-
Guru
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| FUCKING FLIES! |
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Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today,
I weally sick. Got
headache, tomach ache and wegs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know something,
Hung Chow, I really need you
today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell
her to give me
sex.That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be work soon.........
You got weally nice house."
the old poodle
A
wealthy lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her
faithful aged poodle along for the company.
One
day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers
that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard
heading rapidly in
his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks,
"Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit
now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with his back
to the approaching cat. Just as the
leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was
one delicious
leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike,
a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees "Whew!", says the
leopard, "That was close! That
old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures
he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading
after the
leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The
monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
spills the beans and strikes a
deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a
fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!" Now, the
old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on
his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of
running,
the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
seen them yet,and just when they get
close enough to hear, the old poodle
says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another
leopard!"
Moral of this story.. Don't mess with old farts. Age and cunning will
always overcome youth and skill!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with
age and experience!
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